Snails
Real Name: Paul
AKA: “You foul-arsed bastard” or “No, We said 7:30 you tosser...”
Age: The oldest
Guitar Used: Lovely new Stagg bass, Tanglewood balsawood, Steinberg stick
Amp Used: Trace Elliot combo with a dodgy power lead
Effects Used: A chorus pedal if the battery’s not dead
Hobbies: Fishing, cars, walking the dog and heavy drinking - often followed by fishing the dog and walking the cars
Worst Chore: Waking up
Favourite Colour: Red
Interesting Facts: Has been known to be on time (once). He once stayed and ate for a whole week at Gleneagles, Scotland without paying for a thing. He is immensely proud of this fact.
Most Embarrassing Moment: Took a piss in a girlfriend’s wardrobe by mistake. Don’t mention sheep or lesbian head-bangers.
Favourite Sexual things: Blow jobs (sheep-style), watching lesbian head-bangers groping each other at a recent gig. Being repeatedly smacked in the mouth with a microphone by lesbian head-bangers who are too pissed to realise that they are moshing too close to the band’s equipment (he really enjoyed that, thanks girls)
Interesting Injuries: A scar on his arse due to sitting on an angle grinder while cutting the wing off a Ford Capri. Split lip caused by lesbian head-bangers (see above)
Real Name: Paul
AKA: “You foul-
Guitar Used: Lovely new Stagg bass, Tanglewood balsawood, Steinberg stick
Amp Used: Trace Elliot combo with a dodgy power lead
Effects Used: A chorus pedal if the battery’s not dead
Hobbies: Fishing, cars, walking the dog and heavy drinking -
Favourite Colour: Red
Interesting Facts: Has been known to be on time (once). He once stayed and ate for a whole week at Gleneagles, Scotland without paying for a thing. He is immensely proud of this fact.
Most Embarrassing Moment: Took a piss in a girlfriend’s wardrobe by mistake. Don’t mention sheep or lesbian head-
